The Servant Problem
Ey?
What about that?
The servant problem
D’you know about that?
The cornerstone to the White House got laid in 1792
I got laid just a couple of years after, in a former life
I was gonna be
He. I was gonna be
may he be, hey be me, may be he (Just to simplify things)
Outsource my private parts
The public ones go www.sit.com sit.come on.sit a bit on my lap.com
It’s open for business. Here. Right here, the fly’s open. The fly’s pretty open minded and happy to circle around the horse’s mouth.
My private equus
The White House on The White Horse
whoa (I KNOW)
"It’s foundations are built by African American slaves."
The slave problem
Ey?
What about that?
D’you know about that?
Whitewashed with media output of earnest yet encouriging smiles, for most of its facade, the rest with a mixture of lime, rice gluten, casein and led.
LED me on, didn’t they. Kept me on a long lead but going round in squares.
And the problem may just be that I’m gluten intolerant.
I mean I’m super tolerant but enough is enough and
The pony tail end, tailored just to fit through the nooks and crannies, the crooks and nannies and everyone else.
The curtail, tailored just enough to fit nothing and nobody and to make us all look ever so slightly undignified at the same time as utterly ridic you dick!
And they’ll get up and say: “No, you were NOT humiliated.”
And they’ll say “We are family” and we think fuck thee but
We sit down, as our knee caps, all caps have been faintly tempered with.
CURFEW, THE PRECIOUS FEW
Told me to stay in the corner and mind my own business.
You joker. My own business was sold off to pay for dot dot. Don’t.
The precocious few (get back in that corner!)
Of your container
And they say “we can’t taim her”
Shh horsy, it’s sugar for the one horse race.
(We’re not talking about that anymore)
Where are the clowns? Put down the clowns and bring on the bloody claws!
Oh but do be careful.
Don’t stain her, its
a pretty pastel piece as
Past hell’s peace has been established
(don’t look so perplexed)
per spex and her flex
ible joints have over extended the loan.
The dead line is up. It’s back up. The dead leash. Oh sorry, it’s not the leash it’s the horse.
How do they always manage to get up just when I’m on 9 ½?It’s an out-of-body thing.
It’s a ghost trailer, to be aired once the pollution has reached 100% saturation
Once the polls have reached my house holds my me more is more and less is less and don’t you EVER tell me again that less is more or…
They put me on hold.
And here’s how I subvert that:
They put me on hold me tight, cuddle up, snug and cosy.
You know it’s just too big for our current needs. Our current, see, our current cook lives in my wrist and our maid me get down on my ay, King’s knees and Queen’s arms scrub away.
Put the sheets over the my great grandfather’s walnut (cake. For really, all else is I… kea
ah the key? You want the key back? Get it
CUT
We’re leaving for the winter.
It tears me up as Terry always puts the numbers in low terry, don’t you babe?
69696969 and this time, this one time…
So then we went and sold off our roof.
It’s the reveal. He said. It’s priceless.
It’s price less then what I paid for my dentures but that was then and at least I’ve got a good set of teeth, so when the rain came I tried to let a smile be my umbrella and
THA TA TAAA
I’m wet.
The reveal:
the normal culmination of a trick
the unexpected (to the audience) culmination of the trick
an explanation of the trick - which itself may be immediately eclipsed by a version of the trick that the first reveal can't explain
I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass
And I’m all out of bubblegum
Unless you shout “chew on your shroud” as It’s formally similar.
See and that is the big mistake:
Veil a Statue and Fail a Statute
Very different things.
“Oh that is a good fit” – as she exits the dressing room
That is a bene bene fit, hold on, I’ll get u the matching cap with it.
CUT.
In the woods the marbles roll
As organs fail and organs troll, organ pipes and max strength wipes
Clean that rainbow, anti septic
I see a glow, I’m anti sceptic and
No, that’s a lie.
I’d not be seen dead at the end of the rainbow.
a) bad view
b) bad vision
c) bad re-view
d) bad crowd, it’s the meeting point of the greedy
e) it’s the melting spot of of the golden pot and I’m not into crowns AT ALL
Here’s a fool’s gold nugget of info cos talking about childhoods ruins it for everyone.
When I was little and upset I climbed onto my window sill and drew that exact curtain and was disappeared. And that’s how easy it was in the 80’s.
My parents said “let her” my sis wrote a letter
And last week I emailed her back CC TV, bcc bbc but they have not shown any interest in my format.
Too small, too large, not framed.
So these days I draw curtains. And curfews are awful and curfews are brilliant
but most are just done with a blunt pencil.